


Golden days

by doriantrash



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Multi, Polyamory
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-10
Updated: 2016-08-10
Packaged: 2018-08-07 22:50:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,162
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7732870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/doriantrash/pseuds/doriantrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>listen ,, this has been unfinished for so long i just had to get this out and Forget this ever existed</p>
    </blockquote>





	Golden days

**Author's Note:**

  * For [johniaurens](https://archiveofourown.org/users/johniaurens/gifts), [Cirkne](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cirkne/gifts).



> listen ,, this has been unfinished for so long i just had to get this out and Forget this ever existed

 

Falling in love, for them, is like slowly waking up but realizing that the house is on fire, that _you're_ on fire, that you were the one to set the fire.

 

“Because the life I've had can make a good man turn bad,” John is drunk and leaning against Lafayette, hiding his face on the collar of his shirt and singing The Smiths, and Lafayette is in love with him but won't say it out loud, and Alex is laying on the couch and loving them so hard it makes his heart stop and start and stop, and  Hercules walks back to the room from the kitchen and gives him a glass of water, and John looks at them like they are the best gift he's ever gotten.

“For once in my life let me get what I want,” he sings, drunken words almost getting caught in his throat, but the point is that he wants them and he loves them, more than anything.

 

-

 

They fall together, because of course they do. In the end it doesn't matter who kisses who first and how many late night conversations it took for them to get there, because suddenly they are in Alex's bedroom, and none of them wants to fall asleep because it means being apart, and suddenly being apart is worse than not living.

 

They've known each other for so long, forever and little bit more, and they know everything, how Hercules laughs harder when he's tired, and Lafayette cries over happy endings more than sad because in the end you can get over all the sadness, but if you're happy you'll one day be sad again. Alex works too hard and says that it's the thing that defines him, but they all know that really what defines him is the way his eyes have millions of colors when he smiles and how his voice rises up when he gets really excited and how much love he has inside of him, burning in his veins and pressing against his ribcage.

 

Their first night together in a relationship is just trying to fit together in a bed too small for them and it ends in giggles and cuddle piles and they all think that _this is it, this is what I was always looking for._

 

-

 

 

They don't fit together like puzzle pieces. They have too many rough edges for that, too many dark spots, too much everything, but it doesn't mean that they don't fit together.

 

They fit together like the pieces of fabric Hercules sews together to create something else, something beautiful, and they are so happy that there are ways for them to fit, even after everything. They make it work, even if sometimes Alex doesn't want to be touched and all Lafayette wants is touch, pressing his body against everyone and saying he's sorry even when his skin feels like it's on fire when he tries to pull away to give them space. They compromise, Alex sitting on the floor next to the bed while Hercules pins Lafayette against the same bed, John crawling down on his body pressing kisses on everywhere, and Alex gets up and joins them if he can, and Lafayette kisses him harder than usually, but sometimes Alex leaves the room. He comes back hours later, and they all love him fiercely and whisper it against his skin when he finally falls asleep.

 

They are not perfect. They all have their weaknesses, words that make them want to hide forever, gestures that make them run, scars like maps on their skin showing the places they pulled themselves through. John with his bloody knuckles. Lafayette with his scarred thighs and ankles. Hercules with his need to protect but shying away from loud bangs. Alex with the bags under his eyes, wondering how he made it alive this far.

 

“Love is weird,” Alex says once, laying under Hercules because the pressure feels good, and Lafayette is cutting his nails shorter so he wouldn't scratch himself, and they all stop for a second, and they all blame themselves for it, like they suddenly did something to ruin what they have. Finally John pushes himself up and crawls next to Lafayette, takes the scissors, and presses his lips against his collarbones.

“I like weird,” he says and shrugs. Alex doesn’t quite smile but his eyes look soft when he looks at them, and when Hercules kisses him he lets himself be kissed and reminds himself that everything is going to be alright.

 

-

 

In the mornings John doesn’t want to talk because everything is annoying and horrible and he wants to go back to sleep, so he sits on the counter drinking coffee until he feels less like death and more like a real boy, and Alex sits next to him but doesn’t touch him, reads the news from his phone and keeps frowning because the world is still not changed enough.

 

Lafayette stands in front of the oven and tries not to burn the pancakes and when John finally looks more alive he brings one to him and kisses his cheek when he doesn’t quite smile in return. Hercules walks in but stops at the door to look at them and his heart doesn’t do anything special, he’s seen the scene so many times it doesn’t faze him anymore, but he feels warmer, softer, prouder. More in love than he was few seconds ago. Happier than he was.

 

-

 

 

Alex doesn’t always remember that he can’t start revolutions with broken wrists.

 

He keeps on writing, still, even when Hercules has to massage his fingers until they have blood on them again, even when his head is about to be split open by the migraine. He keeps on writing because the words will never write themselves, and sometimes changing the world needs pain to happen.

 

Alex remembers that it also needs some love, when late at night he tries to crawl to the bed as quietly as possible, and John just rolls his eyes at him before pressing his face against Alex’s shirt collar, draws a heart with kisses.

 

Sometimes the revolution can wait until the morning.

 

-

 

Being in love feels like a good kind of a panic attack, sometimes. Sometimes it feels like nothing, like it’s just _there_ , right on top of Hercules’s skin, like an invisible shield against everything that could hurt him. It doesn’t necessarily give him courage, but it makes life easier. It makes it worthwhile.

 

Lafayette once says that falling in love with them felt like the most boring thing ever, and Alex looked so hurt they all had to kiss it better, but John thinks that they are both right. They were always going to be a thing. They were always meant to be in love, but at the same time when it happened it felt like the blood in his veins had caught on fire.

 

-

Their love is the most boring house fire ever existed.


End file.
